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The top 6 things you’ll find yourself repeating once you become a Mum

So you’re a new Mum on the block, or a Mum-to-be, with a bundle of joy that’s certainly going to change your life. While you’ll never exactly know what the future will bring with this mini human, here are six things you may find yourself saying in the first six months of motherhood…

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  • “Why won’t you go to sleep????!!!!”

Remember those days when you would sleep for what felt like forever, while bragging, “I just slept like a baby!’ Well I have two things to say about that and you’re not going to like them:

  1. You will NEVER sleep like that again.

  2. That’s NOT how babies sleep!!!!

These cute and innocent little creatures DO NOT SLEEP. I am so sorry to be the one to tell you. You may witness their epic yawns and begin to rub your hands together thinking you’re onto a winner here. Hey, I like your positivity, but if your baby is like most of the others I have met, you will be two hours in, and those eyes still won’t have closed. Trust me, they will sleep. Maybe not exactly when you need, but eventually they WILL give in, fingers crossed Mumma

  • Don’t eat that!”

Teething. Ah, what a blissful time. A big part of this stage includes eating absolutely everything in sight. Babies like to think that their play mat/pen/box is their territory and anything in that territory, they can legally eat. You won’t believe the things they actually attempt to consume. There’s an apparent gold mine under our couch. Let’s hope your child has better taste than mine

  • Why doesn’t this toy have a volume button?!”

Toy makers must hate parents. Why else would they create these musical toys, with the world’s most annoying songs that are so catchy, you find yourself singing them in your sleep (that is when you do get some sleep). And why else would they design such a toy, minus the all important volume button?!

I’m looking at you Fisher-Price.

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  • “I had an ‘adult’ fantasy about Jimmy Giggle”

Once that TV is tuned to ‘ABC Kids’, there’s no turning back. Your child will most likely be mesmerised by the wide range of viewing pleasures on offer. And thankfully the masterminds over at ABC have put a little viewing pleasure in for all the mums (and some dads) too. Jimmy Giggle; the real life dreamboat on ‘Giggle and Hoot’ can make your days that little bit sweeter (and perhaps a few dreams here and there too)

  • “I’m sooo tired”

See point above ‘babies do not sleep’, which means neither do you Mumma. Prepare to embrace those dark circles under your eyes and submit to the Walking Dead zombie shuffle as if the needle just dropped on Thriller.

There will be times where you actually think you are asleep while parading the supermarket aisles. But most of all, prepare yourself for the ultimate ‘compliment’ from any adult you cross paths with, the “gee, you look tired” comment. Ah thanks stranger. I’ve had about six hours of sleep in TOTAL the last five days…this is my face now.

  • 1“NO!”

I’ve said the word ‘no’ to my son that many times, I’m pretty sure he thinks that’s his name. And the more I say it, the more he selectively choses not to listen. Sounds a little like his Dad actually. They’re like two peas in a pod those two.

What have you found yourself repeating to your children?

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