Just recently I was in a foreign town busting for the toilet. And when I say ‘busting’ I mean just about to wet my pants, as I’ve not all that long ago given birth and my bladder just doesn’t have the same stamina it once did. So I made a mad dash across half the city trying to locate a toilet, until finally, there it was: the world’s smallest, most inconspicuous toilet. And I was thrilled, I actually hadn’t been this overjoyed in quite some time (perhaps I need to get out of the house more, but that’s another blog for another time!). However then I looked down at the baby in the pram that I’d been running around with all over town and thought how the f%$@ do I go empty my bladder, with a baby…?! Do I leave the door ajar, so baby (and any walkers by, hello!) can still see me while I ‘go’? Do I pull him out of the pram and cradle him in my arms? Or do I hope that he will keep sleeping just outside the cubicle while I take the quickest of dashes to the loo?
After sharing this major debacle with some of my other mum friends, I realised I wasn’t alone. One mother actually didn’t quite get to the toilet in time and from that day forth she always carries a spare pair of knickers in the nappy bag. But it turns out once you become a mum, it’s not only just going to the toilet that becomes a challenge.
Wanna see a movie? Nice idea, but unless you have yourself a babysitter locked in, heading out to see a movie, going to the theatre or any other outing that requires a little bit of ‘shhhh’ is something you won’t be doing any time soon.
A long lunch that turns into dinner, into just ‘a quick drink’, into rolling in home at 3am, is certainly something you won’t be involved in for a long while either. Because a) that little clutch bag you used to wear wouldn’t be big enough to carry the large amount of nappies, wipes etc you’d need for an occasion away from home for that long and b) can you really be bothered, it’s hard enough to wash your hair most days!
Which brings us to the beauty routine. Or lack of. If you haven’t yet opted for a ‘mom cut’ you’re most likely the pin-up girl for top-knots. And make-up you ask? Umm unless you’ve mastered the art of applying your mascara while feeding, rocking, and singing a lullaby, I’d kiss that luxury goodbye too!
Always hitting that snooze button, because you’re really not a morning person? Well don’t read on… Babies bloody love mornings! 2am in their eyes is the optimal time of the day to just ‘be alive’. This baby is now your ruler on the sleeping time zones in your household. Which means the next time you’ll enjoy a sleep-in will be in about 20 years time.
What else is missing from this list of those ‘little luxuries’ you can no longer participate in as a new parent?